[Regia-NA] FW: How to establish an UNOFFICIAL, ILLEGAL branch of the SCA
Jeanne Papanastasiou
list-regia-na@lig.net
Thu, 15 May 2003 09:05:29 -0400
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From another group I subscribe to:
Soffya Appollonia Tudja
http://www.aeonline.biz/Links.htm
Argent, a patriarchal cross between three crescent gules on a chief sable
three fleur-de-lys Or
Hey there everyone in Oertha.
What follows in hands down the coolest thing I have ever read. It pertains
to Ravenfjord buisness, but I thought everyone would get a kick out of
Cliff's wit. With a guy like him in our group, how could we go wrong?
Enjoy.
Gunnar Olfuss
From: Cliff Seruntine
Okay, first of all, with all this talk about how to establish an "official,
legal" branch of the SCA we are forgetting the true spirit of the Middle
Ages: raid thy neighbor. Do we not bear a proud Norse name? Are we not the
northern frontier? Do we want to be those newfangled sappy, huggy kind of
Norse folk you find in Sweden and Iceland these days?
My friends, I say NO! We don't. We have Gunnar the grocery-delivering
Viking. We have Breezy, the crescent-laden witch. We have me, Taliesin, the
bow-bearing bard. We have the power, nay, the duty, to establish the world's
first, true illegal, unofficial, medieval-theme based branch of the SCA.
This is my step-by-step plan for pulling it off. Sit back, pull up a big
bowl of popcorn and a mug of ale, and read on while I lead you to victory:
1. We start by arming my sailboat and painting her black. I already have the
Jolly Roger. A couple black powder cannon should do the trick. Then we raid
that SCA barony on the aircraft carrier. They'll be so stunned to have horn
bearing, fur-clad Vikings riding a big black sailboat raid them, they'll all
stand gawking while we make off with their armor, ratan, and that fabulous
machine shop (won't our blacksmiths be delighted?).
2. At the next craft collegium they hold up north we launch an assault
against Eskalya. In the true spirit of Viking chivalry, we do it while
Kylson, Viressa, Georg, and Magnus are away. With no one to defend the
hapless women, we make off with the she-elves, the mortal maids, and
Kylson's hot tub.
3. We build a wall around Ravensfjord. Of course, we have to be properly
sauced to pull that off, so Gunnar and I will have to get a large batch of
mead and ale going. So we'll also have to raid some beehives and a grain
silo on the way back from Eskalya. That's where Gunnar's grocery truck will
come in handy.
4. We'll need someone with brains to lead the building project, so while in
Eskalya we swipe Bjarni too. Being an anthropologist, he knows how to take
old-type structures down, he should know how to do the opposite. If he
refuses to cooperate, thereby betraying his fellow Eskalyites, we offer to
let him the serve in the role of one of our raided-wenches. I'm confident
Bjarni will succumb to the pressure and join us before he becomes a
scantily-fur-clad serving girl sitting in the laps of our hairy Norse men.
5. Once our wall is up, we declare ourselves the Lords of Oertha. If anyone
wants to challenge us to that title, they need only assault our wall to do
it. We'll have Iraqi weapons-of-mass-destruction scientists genetically
engineer a dragon for us (I hear they're looking for work these days).
6. Should some daring fool warrior successfully get past the wall and the
dragon, we all rally, give a great, humungous cry . . . and give him a white
belt, sauce him with ale, and introduce him to the stolen wenches. As Marx
said, "The frollic is mightier than the sword."
If we just follow this simple plan, we will soon excel beyond fledgeling
shirehood. We'll be the undisputed Empire of Oertha. (Oh, and I call dibs on
the mead).
Taliesin
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<DIV><TT><SPAN class=3D010090213-15052003><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS"=20
color=3D#0000ff> From another group I subscribe =
to:</FONT></SPAN></TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT><SPAN class=3D010090213-15052003><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS"=20
color=3D#0000ff></FONT></SPAN></TT> </DIV><TT><SPAN =
class=3D010090213-15052003>
<P><FONT size=3D2>Soffya Appollonia Tudja<BR><A=20
href=3D"http://www.aeonline.biz/Links.htm"=20
target=3D_blank>http://www.aeonline.biz/Links.htm</A><BR>Argent, a =
patriarchal=20
cross between three crescent gules on a chief sable three fleur-de-lys =
Or</FONT>=20
</P>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D010090213-15052003><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS"=20
color=3D#0000ff> </FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D010090213-15052003> </SPAN></SPAN></TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT><SPAN class=3D010090213-15052003> </SPAN>Hey there =
everyone in=20
Oertha.<BR>What follows in hands down the coolest thing I have ever =
read. It=20
pertains <BR>to Ravenfjord buisness, but I thought everyone would get a =
kick out=20
of <BR>Cliff's wit. With a guy like him in our group, how could we go=20
wrong?<BR><BR>Enjoy.<BR>Gunnar Olfuss<BR><BR>From: Cliff Seruntine =
<BR><BR>Okay,=20
first of all, with all this talk about how to establish an "official, =
legal"=20
branch of the SCA we are forgetting the true spirit of the Middle Ages: =
raid thy=20
neighbor. Do we not bear a proud Norse name? Are we not the =
northern=20
frontier? Do we want to be those newfangled sappy, huggy kind of Norse =
folk you=20
find in Sweden and Iceland these days?<BR><BR>My friends, I say NO! We =
don't. We=20
have Gunnar the grocery-delivering Viking. We have Breezy, the =
crescent-laden=20
witch. We have me, Taliesin, the bow-bearing bard. We have the =
power, nay,=20
the duty, to establish the world's first, true illegal, unofficial,=20
medieval-theme based branch of the SCA.<BR><BR>This is my step-by-step =
plan for=20
pulling it off. Sit back, pull up a big bowl of popcorn and a mug of =
ale, and=20
read on while I lead you to victory:<BR><BR>1. We start by arming my =
sailboat=20
and painting her black. I already have the Jolly Roger. A couple black =
powder=20
cannon should do the trick. Then we raid that SCA barony on the aircraft =
carrier. They'll be so stunned to have horn bearing, fur-clad Vikings =
riding a=20
big black sailboat raid them, they'll all stand gawking while we make =
off with=20
their armor, ratan, and that fabulous machine shop (won't our =
blacksmiths be=20
delighted?).<BR><BR>2. At the next craft collegium they hold up north we =
launch=20
an assault against Eskalya. In the true spirit of Viking chivalry, we do =
it=20
while Kylson, Viressa, Georg, and Magnus are away. With no one to defend =
the=20
hapless women, we make off with the she-elves, the mortal maids, and =
Kylson's=20
hot tub.<BR><BR>3. We build a wall around Ravensfjord. Of course, we =
have to be=20
properly sauced to pull that off, so Gunnar and I will have to get a =
large batch=20
of mead and ale going. So we'll also have to raid some beehives and a =
grain silo=20
on the way back from Eskalya. That's where Gunnar's grocery truck will =
come in=20
handy.<BR><BR>4. We'll need someone with brains to lead the building =
project, so=20
while in Eskalya we swipe Bjarni too. Being an anthropologist, he knows =
how to=20
take old-type structures down, he should know how to do the opposite. If =
he=20
refuses to cooperate, thereby betraying his fellow Eskalyites, we offer =
to let=20
him the serve in the role of one of our raided-wenches. I'm confident =
Bjarni=20
will succumb to the pressure and join us before he becomes a =
scantily-fur-clad=20
serving girl sitting in the laps of our hairy Norse men.<BR><BR>5. Once =
our wall=20
is up, we declare ourselves the Lords of Oertha. If anyone wants to =
challenge us=20
to that title, they need only assault our wall to do it. We'll have =
Iraqi=20
weapons-of-mass-destruction scientists genetically engineer a dragon for =
us (I=20
hear they're looking for work these days).<BR><BR>6. Should some daring =
fool=20
warrior successfully get past the wall and the dragon, we all rally, =
give a=20
great, humungous cry . . . and give him a white belt, sauce him with =
ale, and=20
introduce him to the stolen wenches. As Marx said, "The frollic is =
mightier than=20
the sword."<BR><BR>If we just follow this simple plan, we will soon =
excel beyond=20
fledgeling shirehood. We'll be the undisputed Empire of Oertha. (Oh, and =
I call=20
dibs on the mead).<BR><BR>Taliesin<BR><BR><BR></TT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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